On Earnings and Marriage: The N200k Debate

Social media to me is home and addiction, two terrible things. Home, because I keep both the folks I love and those I dislike in there but for their wisdom and maybe blood connection. And I have been addicted since I seriously decided to join social media with my actual name and age.
Most of the people who have come to play key roles in my life somehow can be credited to social media. In the university, when a classmate couldn’t be close, I added them and since we could communicate and share thoughts – sometimes mutual, we progressed. I am glad I have had craze and love on social media.
One of the craze came over the weekend when some spoilt Nigerian children who are lucky to get steady meal and power their mobile phones and luckily, get money to purchase data for their mobile phones tweeted that they could not marry a man who earned two hundred thousand naira. To them it was demeaning.
With the current troubles with the naira, it may sound like a valid declaration – a dollar equals about 410 naira. But when the words are looked at carefully in the context of a Nigeria where one has to improvise to survive, you’d see such assertions as not just insensitive but ignorant. This is a country where workers have to shut down functioning system because of minimum wage of 18,000 naira that some politicians who are state governors find difficult to implement.
However sad that statement came out, I’d appreciate it that it is an opinion and it should be taken as one. But on social media, one person’s wrong opinion on a matter inspires another and then there is a syndicate of misinformed people who drive a cause that are probably fuelled on momentary fun.

But on social media, one person’s wrong opinion on a matter inspires another

I come from a family of four children. I am the first. I have peeped at my dad’s pay slip. He is a furniture maker with a Lebanese furniture company. He is grossly underpaid and sometimes abused. He does the job because he is not entrepreneurial and he needs to meet up needs. Mum on the other hand has tried her hands of businesses and they haven’t particularly been successful. I can swear that dad has never seen a pay cheque of N200, 000.00. And of course we lived in gross lack and grew up in such. I know it is uneasy to decipher the force that pulled those two together for marriage. In it all, I have grown angry at situations and I have come to accept that they probably made their mistakes and I shouldn’t make mine by blaming them. If I have been given an education, I ought to learn from them and improve. I am a fan of marriage yet a scared one. I have watched of a couple of marriages fail before my eyes. I know what the lack of money in an African family means. It is terrible. Laughter and smiles are auctioned. However, it is terrible out there. A lot of young people, brilliant and excellent at whatever they studied in the university barely find jobs. The few who get skills barely get assistance to fix up studios for their artistry.

I believe that couples who truly understand and talk about their issues can overcome a lot.

If they are sincere and know about their finances, earning less may not deter their dreams. It would make them work collectively and set goals that are within reach. They could take minimal vacations and alternatives to priced items. Marriage is work, in reality. A lot of brain-work is needed to fix up a functioning home.
It is somewhat wrong for a social media group to champion such causes of demeaning legal and decent earnings. In this country, even in the banks, few people earn above one hundred and fifty thousand naira monthly. The companies are currently folding up. The economy is shrinking. It is a terrible time. And it is even worse for someone who is yet to find a job, someone who is probably relaxed on piled wealth by parents to disregard people based on earnings. While I appreciate that love ought to be sensitive to responsibility, I am also aware that people who work smart enough can achieve a purpose. If a man ought to earn a certain amount before he can approach you, you ought to have met same target too. No one man is designed as slave for anyone.

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Nwilo

Senior Writer

Bura-Bari Nwilo lives in Port Harcourt, in Nigeria. He is the author of A Tiny Place Called Happiness – a book of stories.

313 Comments
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